Both my parents work full time.
The Formula for insanity is HORMONES ON ALERT, MIND GOING MILE A MINUTE, Fear Scenarios + Muscular Tension + SELF-DOUBT, Low Self Image = NEUROSIS. Ponder how close this other formula is to it: Capitalism + Tension + low Self Image + fear = Violent sociophobic thinking = Insanity.
America is a nation of insane people. An Amazonian indian raised in the jungle has more chance of being normal, alive, feeling, sentient and kind than any of your relatives or descendants. We think that evolution is happening. It should be but it isn't. WE OVERTHOUGHT the important features of civilization thing and that affected the baby raising process adversely. We designed linear race courses over which humans would hurtle in the single-minded thrust toward money. We created steel and copper electrical forms with our brains which didn't suit the non-linear souls stuck in soft, human bodies. Mom and Dad ran off to offices 40 hours a week and robotized child raising and implemented it with servants and hired help and blindly let it turn our kids into nervous, constipated robots, unfulfilled, craving phony sugar activities instead of real huggy lovey ones. The proof is that children are unable to distinguish between real happiness through affection and artificial happiness through toys and head trips.
Dr. Phil recently featured a 14 year old who was addicted to a VIRTUAL WORLD where she paid cash for a Rolls, went to night clubs that charged real cash. She couldn't stop. She was thrilled by it. Took her parent's credit cards for a huge ride, too. She sure didn't love THEM as much as she loved virtual world.
Modern civilization started this whole, loony process when moms began abandoning forty day old babies to the hired help so that they could return to the job. We kept it going when we sent little diapered infants, total babies --off to daycare. There is a fine line here. I'm talking about babies that are not ready for it. For a latchkey child, daycare of some sort may help. Deprived children get a fine start in life in DAYCARE but it is only better than being latchkey! It isn't better than spending childhood at a loving mother's knee.
Most upper scale, big city children are raised so badly at home (Maids, geriatric relatives, strange caregivers or senile granny babysitters,) that by the time daycare comes around, it is remedial, like putting a band-aid on leprosy. And these upper case babies have such sterile, self-absorbed Moms that maybe daycare is useful. I think of the Kennedys and Skekels. What a mess. That is American blue-blood? Raised by help!
On the other hand, put a normal, loving mother with an infant, even if there is no food, no heat, no phone, no tv, no clothing, no job, no car, just a welfare check which pays for the roof, ..you put that baby child next to a working mom paying off an SUV, sticking her kid in daycare so that she can work......A society is better off with children raised by a mother at home.
The first five years are the key ones. That baby needs to be raised. He needs to have had a full life with his mother before he's ready to give her up and try the group. That readiness for daycare probably won't happen until age four or five. Only a very sensitive mother can slowly engineer happy separations twixt Mum and babe before that age.Daycare babies in America, even under optimum circumstances, are turning out nuts. Kids start out with an even chance of being sane, at birth, if the mother wasn't emotional, hyped, throwing shitfits during the pregnancy. Even if she's angelically happy during those nine months, post partum, the typical infancy turns the infant into hurt, fearful and paranoid The child of the working mother has infant separation anxiety early. Before they can handle aleviation of stress with clear thinking. WHy? Cuz mom stuck 'em with strange people in strange places when she went to work. That spear thru the heart was exacerbated daily every time she got in the car to leave. I came back to USA from Mexico, Had four kids with me, all under 5 yrs of age. I decided to work, went to a daycare to sign up. The cost would have been more than any salary, more than my rent, twice the welfare check, but what really stopped me from extending a palm to grampa was a single child on the far side of the daycare center room. HE was 3. He sat by the window repeating Mommy slowly but wistfully hundreds of times, while looking out the window.
I grabbed my kids and walked outta there and tossed my application in the trash on the way out. My thing in life was to take zest in the simple things, gardening, pets, trips to the beach, lake, desert, orchard and at times the cheap midnight flight to Acapulco to stay in cheap posadas with lizards on the wall. We had a simple, gourmet life. I raised them that way. Our life was cheap, but full. We played in parks, we fished the piers. We hondled fish off the million dollar yachts when they came into the Marina. The yacht set wanted to get those smelly fish they'd caught off the boat. Sammy Davis Jr.'s dad Wil would give away bags of freshly caught fish. We also caught alot ourselves and our freezer was full and I taught them to cook. I taught my kids to garden and play' but now that I look back on it, I realize that I forgot the most important thing I forgot to teach them how to raise an infant. They don't remember seeing that part, you see. I forgot to tell my sons and daughters on the way out, 'oh hey, one last word of advice. When the babies come, whatever you do, don't be that typical working couple that sticks kids with nurse, nanny or daycare. THE WIFE must stay home with the baby. MOM stays in the house with the baby the first few years. Take Junior in the garden, take him fishing to the beach or to the market or park. Never take your eyes of her or him as it's not a safe world. But do take them to see life. Kids are wonderfully portable. There must be carefully supervised care both at home and at park. But you cannot get that from employees in facilities. Or from grandmothers caring for children.
My darling son had never been given this one piece of advice. His infant daughter was two or three months old and he consented to his wife working. The infant was left with a great granny on his wife's side. The granny had a history of attacking children violently. She did something wrong, the child is paralyzed for life, no speech, little brain activity. They had a second child. She's nearing a year of age. I met her yesterday. She screams if put on the ground. Her mother could not use my bathroom as the child would scream if I held her in arms while Mom went behind the door into the bathroom. That mom works and has worked since the day the child was born. Nurses care for her children most of the daylight hours. So this second child has separation anxiety on some huge level. The child was a little crazy. Now, either she hardens up to being left, which many children do...accepting this as life, and they harden their feelings permanently becoming sociopaths, or she becomes a mass of needs, i.e. neurotic. That's the trade off.
WAS IT WORTH IT? What for? For a second salary? So they both drive huge, new vehicles? ARE kids today INSANE? Get a l0 yr old TOYOTA fer Crissakes!. Who needs a new Ford 8 cylinder? What is more important? SOULS or Seatbelts? Children of working parents in a desperate, capitalist society grow up to be nuts, cut off, mistrustful, hostile, tense, never knowing joy in the simple things like full spectrum love with their parent and timeless activities in nature. IN my career as an astrologer, I see them grown up. They talk to me about all the details of their adult lives. These nutcases are addicted to pleasure as a distraction, flicks, ipods, t.v. shopping. They're sex crazed and distract themselves with crushes. To be 'loved' is their imperative yet they cannot love. Their wacked nervous system is restored to what we would consider normal joy in the simple things only with doses of drugs and alcohol or buying SUVS and driving them at dangerous speeds. MOTHERS, do not work! (unless at home near the cradle.) PLAY ---PLAY with the baby in nature ALL DAY. Teach your baby what play is, timeless delight, laughter between two people as they experience a butterfly, a bird, a kitten, a breeze, a wind chime, a beach wave, a drive, spinning merry-go-rounds in the park, growing vegetables and fruits, fishing for dinner. Cooking that dinner. Washing dishes. Prepare them for real life. The fun of it. Don't kill the spark with robot caregivers. Don't stick round, living pegs into square boxes.
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