Common Web
Design Faults - Your
front page is like the face of a woman. It must be beautiful
and it must smile.
And it could even sizzle
a little! But where it counts, it must DELIVER THE GOODS! And make us want to put out our hand and CLICK!
THE FRONT PAGE we know, has to be the the magazine's
TABLE
OF CONTENTS. It is strictly an INDEX PAGE but it's your job as a designer
to keep it from being boring! Each 'story' or article available there (as
a live link to another page), must have the most tantalizing fragments
of reading with part of it a LIVE LINK, to get people to click on the
page/article and go there.
Like "WANT MORE MONEY? Secrets of wealth are right here!"
See
how the sentence contains the live link, or URL? See how you can smell
the fragrance of the WEALTH that you are invited to grab? SO punctuate
that alluring wealth concept with a neato graphic! Here's REGIS offering
you the big bucks. That works! Friendly, juicy! FUN! Instant excitement.
THE ART OF CLICKING ON a JUICY SECOND PAGE! - If thrilling, exciting MONEY MAKING IDEAS or GORGEOUS artistic objects are what you're selling, paintings or jewelry, or vintage patterns, or handmade FUDGE you should have a sampling of the best pieces PHOTOGRAPHED. But it must have FURTHER SAMPLES TO SEE available by clicking on 'a second page' so you'll go to your gallery, your jewelry box, etc. YOUR MENU.... And of course set the photos in a jewelbox or ON A VINTAGE MENU Background.
YOUR WEBSITE must not have ALL your merchandise visible, like jewelry, paintings, graphic pictures or BOOKS FOR SALE or any signs saying PURCHASE THIS HERE. No signs saying "Get your market cart ready", Or "GO HERE TO BUY".
NOTHING like that! Just little pretty samples of the merchandise. People turn away when they get to your spot and there's nothing interesting on that front page. Samples or visuals, or fragments of the stories, the written merchandise there, beautiful art, gems, cute graphics.
When they walk into a store, the beauty or humor or livlieness of what they offer is visible. You must be able to walk around that front page and view things of riveting interest and not be bothered or hustled! You want price tags on everything, in clear sight so you can grab or leave.
If you walk around for a long time looking at
interesting things, and they provoke, naturally you will later find a place
where you can buy and maybe click on that order blank. But you must, as
a visitor, be free to walk around for an hour staring, touching things,
or in a bookstore, reading things, without brushing arms with an avid salesgirl
and being told every second BUY here, PURCHASE here. It is inhuman, greedy,
repellant and will cause visitors to LEAVE. You must keep them there, and
keep fascinating them. So don't hustle the visitors!
ON
THE OTHER HAND DO NOT NEGLECT TO CLARIFY THE MONEY
REALITY
UNDER EACH GRAPHIC or off to the side, write "BEACH STONE BRACELET 30$ CLICK HERE And they click and maybe an email form comes up with your EMAIL ADDRESS IN IT "Dear JEWELER " the message reads, I want to Paypal you the 30$ right now..." You of course provide an empty space in that EMAIL for them to continue from there & write the order. See? Very LOW TECH. No complicated 'shopping software. Also, you answer by email. Friendly, personal Instead, the front page of your website MUST HAVE beautiful, glittering, fascinating articles, offered up for reading. This after all is what we offer on the NET. Info! And each picture must have an UNDERSCORE saying, THIS BEAUTIFUL SeaMaiden Anklet is 30$ from the MERMAID LADY, google her webpage. Actually I don't sell bracelets. In fact, I don't sell anything at all except 15$ quickie horoscopes or 100$ forty page long natal readings. What I do is run a "HOW TO BE AN INTERNATIONAL IMPORT/EXPORT CEO and DEVELOP DYNAMIC DESIGNS. " It's a free seminar.
But TICKLING THE CLICK RESPONSE is what you do and what will MAKE THEM WANT TO READ EVERY PARAGRAPH! And turn to SECOND PAGES. ANd third pages. A maze of information that is witty, illustrated with pretty pictures
Now, you ready to start? Getting the cheapest
webhost out there
is first. I use http://www.5dollarhosting.com/
They take 5$ a month out of your bank account. I don't use GODADDY as it's
a lot more money and if you get edgy, they dock you 200$ + right out of
your account! Without your permission.
THE articles you wrote, that's second. Stash them as htm files, net ready over at your website. FTP software is next, It's free online, download some. Last the LAYOUT OR DESIGN of your FRONT PAGE.
INDEX needs a BULLET,
a one line description leading to the HTM ARTICLE that you loaded. Example:
YOU ALSO can MAKE JEWELRY LIKE THIS! Investigate
the SEA GLASS FINDERS CORPORATION
in MAUI, HAWAII, and then you give those URLS. You don't ask for ad revenue,
from these hippies in Maui, you just tell the reader who's the main man
for great beach glass, supply their webpage. I mean, if you don't make
jewelry out of beach glass, do someone ELSE a favor. Turn the corporation's
name into a LIVE LINK. I didn't as MAUI SEA GLASS doesn't exist yet. But
if you're near a beach, you start it! Get a tumbler from ROCK
&
GEM
magazine,
one of the best out...and start a beachcomber business. Ask local beach
roaming kids to turn in their glass chips for a ten spot per bucket. .
Or if you have a MILLENIUM SURVIVAL WEBSITE, and I do... You'd feature an article with a formatted bullet: "HOW A MOUSE CAN BE COOKED SO THAT IT IS DELICIOUS AND NUTRITIOUS." and an URL inside it, maybe in the word 'MOUSE' And if they put their mouse on your mouse recipe, suddenly on bottom task bar they see a flash and they realize this is a LIVE LINK and these starving people in the future know they're gonna be tastin' that delicious mouse that tastes like bunny rabbit, exactly, and getting that weird recipe if they click! IMMEDIATE satisfaction.
Very important at luring clients is to keep them happy and dazzled and fascinated with what you have. And tickled as they see things revealed. Secrets, unknown info, revealed! HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU COOK A MOUSE? Well, I have a recipe. Write me at astrology@earthlink.net and I will actually provide you with a fantastic recipe in case this war torn country has hard times. Mice, as you know, are like rabbit. A white meat, totally delicious. Shepherd's pie is the way.
NEXT, you know how to create a sentence with a live link in it, don't you? Use the CHAIN LINK icon at screen top when DESIGNING your website! Website design is easy cuz it's in microsoft word which we all had loaded at the factory. It's also in netscape composer. On your browser. So use the chain link. It's that easy! So it's MOUSE-READY- PRE CLICKABLE, UNDERLINED IN BLUE, and that is obviously a live link.
MORE groovy stories. "HOW TO SURVIVE
a COMET even if it hits your side of the planet:"
SURVIVE IS UNDERLINED IN BLUE ergo it is a live
link and your reader's mouse reveals it is a LIVE LINK OR URL and they
can click and go there! EZ?
I visited a site recently and the main page was
all ads, buy this, add this to your shopping cart, etc. The website was
supposed to be about new age conspiracy theory. I became impatient. What
a junky site. I tried one other page there. I don't know why I did it,
cuz I no longer cared but it too was all ads. UNBELIEVEABLE! People are
DUMB. They don't realize that their PURE, ELEGANT PROFILE is all they need.
No penny a click crap.
JUST be a teacher. That money is enough. Make
bracelets, that income is enough.
OTHER WEBSITES ATTRACT TRAFFIC WITH EMPTY PROMISES. I went to this site that supposedly Google said, was about ALIENS. ALL ADS. I couldn't figure it out. So I right clicked on the page to view its CODING, its source and saw the meta words that they left embedded to attract the robot spiders that were coming from search engines. Well, these words "alien abductions, poisons in our foods, oligarchs stealing politicians, Comet due, REPTILIAN POLITICIANS, IMF policies that steal from the people etc.. THE #*&%(#*& META TEXT was WAAAY MORE INTERESTING THAN the WHOLE SITE! Yet nobody but a tekkie could see them!
So I wrote the web owner, "Sir, Give us the meat, not a page of commercials. Why not have those divine and alluring words (like ALIEN INVASION) right on the front page as a LIVE LINK and each time a visitor CLICKS on THAT PHRASE they go straight to a sample article. Then, put the ad for the book at the end of the reading experience they will have at those pages. NOT just a big ad on the front page. How simple-minded, unattractive, commercial and boring is THAT! You shot yourself in the foot and you didn't even know it!
Say to your new surf-in tourist, your viewer, your visitor, "HOT INFO IS HERE ON SAUCERS in SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA." It links to an article with a first hand contactee experience, and THEN an ad for the book is at the end of that article. People are more likely to want to buy your book after they've seen that article, no? That article will tickle their fancy bigtime!So stroll them thru the shelves, picking up things, reading, touching the merchandise before you hit them with a sales clerk!
Then let me get back to the rest of the wonderful words I found in that list. BOUGHT POLITICIANS? My mind reels when I read a thing like that. It doesn't compute for me, the average viewer. So the website designer has to give a little more on the front front page. They hae to say this is what that means. OUR POLITICIANS ARE PAID OFF BY THE WEALTHIEST MEN IN England and Wall Street.. YOU got the GOV THEY WANTED YOU TO HAVE, one that leaves you ENSLAVED, SEE : PLANTATION 101. That's a little better. meatier. More info-carrying. You put that statement there, I will click on that BLUE UNDERLINED PART which is the URL. Otherwise, 'bought politicos,' What does THAT mean? 1 in 20 will click there, or be moved to do so.
Now if it says SECRET WAYS OLIGARCHS PASS CASH
to POLITICOS, maybe I will click on it, but then, Mr.Designer, PUHLEEZE
can I please go to an article that tells how the oil-o-garchs bought Bush
Sr and Jr, Clinton and OBAMA. and owned every presidential ass ever
since JFK got murdered, way back when?
READ JFK
A DESIGNER HIT BY LBJ AND THE OIL GUYS
So website designers, LIVE LINKS are the best part of the whole barbecue! USE that wonderful matching of META TEXT UNDER the actual HTM article and then a Set of DESCRIPTIVE WORDS on the INDEX PAGE as both are what you're offering those pesky spider robots that crawl around searching for you. IF YOU DO NOT SHOW SIGNS OF LIFE that way, you will be invisible to the internet!
I know you thought it over carefully when you created it. You listed all the goodies you have, invisibly for robots to find, then forgot to put any of it on your front page for your visitors. EVERYTHING must show up on the front page. "Girls, here are the secrets of HOW TO MARRY A BILLIONAIRE AND DO GOOD FOR THE WORLD. There are psychological tricks, but also FASHION TRICKS. For instance, the power of PEARL BUTTON EARRINGS, the PARISIAN, SUITY, DIGNIFIED CHANEL LOOK, modified to be sexy."
Every single word in that juicy list must have a live link to an article, an URL set right in that sentence like a diamond in a 24k rose gold setting. EVERY SINGLE WORD an article! FREE ARTICLES must be there. Can't you do that? Even if it's not the definitive article... just a smattering, then at end of article THEN you can say want to order my book on AMAZON on this THEME, GO HERE and give the URL AT AMAZON, an URL that takes them RIGHT to the shopping cart section, the order merchandise page, either separate or right on that page. HOW TO E-PUBLISH A BOOK.
I actually wrote the guy with the spider robot warning page, with all the CIA/NSA news and I told him, "sir, If your front web page were a magazine it would have long since folded. It is dull. You have ten to twenty different books for sale and nothing to make us buy them. USE articles that show how relevant this info is! How important! Make it mysterious, exciting. Give us some crumbs of free brownies so we'll buy the PAN.
This whole process is more like meeting a gorgeous girl for one MINUTE and 'catching her interest' so that somehow down the line you can communicate again and achieve a first date. The whole game depends on being alone together for the first minute. If it isn't a joytrip with the shared laugh, and then an offhand 'you're so clever, probably too clever for most men. I'd love to meet you at my fave coffee and pie joint in town 4 pm any day this week,' the kind of easy, non invasive, invitation any girl would say 'yes' to. (Not like you PICK HER UP AT HER HOME WITH YOUR CAR...that puts gals OFF)
After a pie date, then lunch 3 times, that is when you CLOSE THE DEAL.
I'm an astrologer. Not one artice out of the 1,300,000 that are online has to do with stars. They're on holism, agriculture gentleman gardening, raising babies, gourmet cooking (See the LIST) but I figure if I can get them to squeeze my hand, second stage is our first sit down meal and then the third stage DINNER OUT. For me that means they read the little blurb at END of my article that states I"m an astrologer. Then they think GAD she's clever about SUPPRESSIVE OVER TAXING OF CITIZEN, she must be a HELLUVA fortuneteller. Only 15$ JEEZ I'm hiring her. And when I do their natal chart, that's when the first kiss will come. I become their family friend, Their CASSANDRA PROPHETRESS. It's DIAL ANITA in CALIFORNIA and get her to throw ASTRODICE on my life questions... from then on
But if the first bump, pie date, lunch date, nite date, kiss and squeeze do not come, why would ONE OF MY READERS go all the way and marry me and buy my nonexistent (now) book?
YOU ARE not in the business of HOOKING UP bacnk accounts in marriage but in the BUSINESS of bumping into a stranger and getting them to delve one PIE DATE FURTHER. And of course making the pie date so hot with the first slice, the first shared insight and laugh ... humor makes truth glow like a diamond... that that SURFER will proceed down the tunnel of love into the last little room where THE WEDDING RING must be delivered and somebody exchanges money. That end tunnel is where you have the simple EMAIL 'buy order' (20 yrs online I can't figure out shopping carts, so I avoid them.) Get them to the simple email order and someone who already loves you will pay hard money to get hold of something they desire! My one day 600 page book called REALITY 101 or HOW TO BEAT THE SYSTEM is actually online free. PORTAL TO ALL MY WRITING is at ASTRAL WEBSITE.
So, NO MENTION of selling things in front. If you do, YOUR FRONT PAGE IS Pasadena. Over with. Click and goodbye. Cuz honey? It's GREEDY AND DULL. Nobody buys a sooty bride with a pretend pout on her lips, that eternal hooker face. Your surfers come in and see ads on front page they flee.
Putting a graphic of a flying saucer and a PYRAMID with an eye on top and alleging that ILLUMINATI OLIGARCHS KNOW THE ALIENS VISIT EARTH will help but you need an article that gives the details of how SPACE SHIPS BRING GOLD and take children & babies for breeding purposes. You gotta have the meat. WHERE's the BEEF? The article on how ALIENS are visiting us needs to be amped up. The INDEX PAGE that points to the article needs amping, pictures, meta text, and the BULLETS. ENLARGED TEXT that is a LIVE LINK that attracts CLICKS!
It should be TICKLE. CLICK, DELIVER. TICKLE CLICKLE. DELIVER. Nobody marries the girl when every interesting squeeze on a knob yields no thrill, no meat, no laughs, no response, no words, no ideas, nothing. I click on something provocative like the word "ALIENS ARE VISITING" and if what comes up is unreadable -- a boring blurb trying to get me to buy this dry looking book on AREA 51 with NO tales of fascination, no INFO...I LEAVE INSULTED!
The idiot who did that site thinks he's getting hits. He doesn't learn. Hits do not equal MONEY. I don't get it. WHY waste time? HOW can you get lucky when every page is a turn off??? TURN THEM ON, INFORM, TEACH, MAKE THEM YOUR FRIENDS and worry about selling something LATER!
PUT AN ARTICLE on every single page, fully informational and then the sales pitch at the end of that passionate 'read,' Attempt to do these things and you will get rich, have property, orchard, pool, vacation home, boat. The basics for good living. Move into MERCANTILISM and you can become hugely rich.
OFFER SERVICES. OFFER INFORMATION. Even,
though I hate it, offer a pamphlet with information for sale. I hate it
as I'd rather just put the information on my website for free. But, I do
have another gig going. I do your horoscope, your kid's birth chart, his
destiny reading. Pick your marriage hour. Give you tricks to handle that
relationship that's out of hand. I'm a modern day witch. So, some homework
for you. Create a webpage. Study how to do it at webmonkey dot com
That's where my friend the guerilla capitalist underground NEW YORK PORTRAIT PHOTOGRAPHER learned to do his websites. He cashes checks at the client's bank, keeps cash buried in a box under his roses in his Manhattan garden. When he has l00thousand cash he's going to buy a barn in the Hudson River Valley and convert it. Grow apples, make his own wine. If he were paying taxes, if he were licensed, or if he had a brick and mortar studio, the landlords, city, county and state and NATIONAL government would have the mansions in the Valley, the vineyards. NOT HIM. As for medical coverage and Social Security. While he eats organically from his gardens and follows the PREVENT DISEASE PERMANENT LIFE REGIMEN, he will never need MEDICARE, HMO's or Social Security benefits down the line. So why let the gov drain him dry from now til the exit gate? Say it's 2020 and he's old? He rents one room at his farm to a single mother, he gets a housekeeper, gourmet cook and some rent money to pay his property taxes til he's old. And as he has no children, the housekeeper and her brood inherit the farm. Just a JESUS LIFE by my way of thinking. Doing good for the humble and poor. Some say 'oh give to the gov, they take care of everyone.' Lie. You pay into social security, you pay plenty and they're making us pay for HMO's each person adult or child will be paying 1300$ a month into their prepaid HMO by mandate. Fail to pay you get fined. See page where I collect NEWS on this: THE HEALTH CARE INDEX.
GOOGLE SEARCH UP SOME WEB design TRAINING SITES. I love wit. See if you can find "HOW TO MAKE AN ANNOYING WEBSITE" or use search terms like WHAT'S WRONG WITH WEB DESIGN SOFTWARE!
GO SIMPLE. Handmade like I do it is best as it's so low tech even seniors with 18 yr old PCS like MINE can visit. HIGH TECH means no senior can read you. You over formatted. You jammed our browser. We get a blank sometimes! So design your website right now, while these words are fresh in your mind.
GOOGLE UP a WEB TUTORIAL MADE FOR CHILDREN -- google those search terms to find the newest. Web Monkey used to have one. I believe the name was sold though. But google around and you can let the kids make you your website! You can always polish off any rough edges, later, if the kid will teach you how!
* * * * * *
BACK TO WEBSITE TECH FOR DUMMIES WEBSITE
<=== BACK TO THE FRUGAL TIPS and CHEAPO LIFESTYLE WEBPAGE
Our POSTER is ANITA SANDS HERNANDEZ, Los Angeles Writer, ombudsman, Futurist, Mother of four and Astrologer to Yogi Bhajan for 35 years. Catch up with her websites TRUTHS GOV WILL HIDE & NEVER TELL YOU, also The FUTURE, WHAT'S COMIN' AT YA! FRUGAL LIFE STYLE TIPS, HOW TO SURVIVE the COMING GREAT DEPRESSION, and Secrets of Nature, HOLISTIC, AFFORDABLE HEALING. Also ARTISANRY FOR EXPORT, EARN EUROS....* Anita is at astrology@earthlink.net ). Get a 15$ natal horoscope "my money/future life" reading now + copy horoscope as a Gif file graphic! No smarter, more accurate career reading out there! PS. Anita sez, 'get a website for 5$ a month and post articles that YOU LIKE, TOO! Be someone who forwards the action, the evolution. IT IS getting better you know and by getting WORSE FIRST, it gets better!
<=== BACK TO TRACKING THE ECONOMY, an INDEX PAGE
<===BACK TO MONEY SECRETS ONLY THE EXPERTS KNOW
<=== BACK TO SECRETS THE GOV DOES NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW
<===BACK TO THE SECRETS OF THE OLIGARCHS, THE EMPIRE INDEX PAGE
<=== SHOW ME THE FIX INDEX PAGE.
<== SHOW ME THE HAPPY R)EVOLUTION PAGE
<=== BACK TO "GUERILLA CAPITALISM" -- THE SOLUTION!
<==== BACK TO THE "VITAL SIGNS OF A DYING ECONOMY" the "FUTURE" WEBPAGE
<==== BACK TO THE WALL STREET MELTDOWN WEBSITE, with "WHAT TO DO TO SURVIVE" TIPS
<=== BACK TO ENRON PLANET, the DOOMSDAY SCENARIO!
<====BACK TO THE HOLISTIC GOURMET, BON MARCHE
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<=== HOW EVEN A POOR PERSON CAN BUY REAL ESTATE
<== BACK TO THE FUTURE INDEX PAGE
<=== BACK TO THE GENTLEMAN FARMER'S GARDEN INDEX
<=== INVESTIGATE DOING DRIP IRRIGATE- LINES in PUBLIC GARDENS as a CHARITY
<=== BACK TO "DONE WELL, ACTIVISM IS A DELIGHT and IT CREATES CAREERS for YOU as well as PLANETARY EVOLUTION"
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<=== BACK TO THE LUCK IN LOVE WEBSITE
<== BACK TO THE PROPAGANDA STUDIES WEBSITE, HOW GOV LIES TO YOU
<=== BACK TO ALL POINTS OF THE COMPASS POLITICAL PHILOSOPHY TUTORIAL
<=== BACK TO JERRY'S REFRIGERATOR & the Tin Foil Hat Collection of CONSPIRACY THEORIES!
<====BACK TO THE FREE MONEY WEBSITE
<==== BACK TO THE HARD TIMES WEBSITE
<===== BACK TO THE POVERTY INDEX PAGE
<==== BACK TO THE "TIPS to SURVIVE THE FUTURE" INDEX PAGE
BACK TO THE "FIX YOUR FLAGGING AMBITION" SEMINAR
<== BACK TO THE SNOOKERED INDEX PAGE
<===BACK TO THE REALITY 101 SEMINAR FOR TEENS
<==== BACK TO THE SHOW BUSINESS PAGE, ARCHIVE, SEMINAR, WHATEVER YA WANNA CALL IT
<====HOW TO TINKER WITH OTHER PEOPLE's BRAINS
<====BACK TO THE NEW AGE EMPOWERING INDEX
<===BACK TO "HOW TO MERCHANDISE YOURSELF" INDEX
<===BACK TO THE ALL ABOUT TAXES INDEX PAGE
<=== MEET ANITA SANDS WHO WRITES ALL THESE ARTICLES
<=== TAKE ME TO THE HOLISTIC PET, HOW NEVER TO NEED a VET
<===== TAKE ME TO THE SALMONELLA TIMES, HOW TO SAVE THE CHICKEN
<=== BACK TO THE TRUTHS ABOUT DENTISTRY THAT WILL SAVE YOU 100 THOUSAND!
<=== BACK TO THE SNOOKERED WEBPAGE, HOAXES WE HAVE ALL KNOWN
<===BACK TO EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT WEB STUFF (for dummies)
<===BEAUTIES, HOW TO MARRY A BILLIONAIRE AND SAVE THE WORLD
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TO
HOW THE POOR MAN CAN BUY REAL ESTATE SEMINAR