A Unified Theory to Explain UFO Phenomena - the Alien Incompetency Theory:
One of the most significant issues in ufology today is
the attempt to explain the wide variety of conflicting, confusing and bizarre
elements of the UFO phenomenon. In
every subfield of ufological studies, there are aspects which strain the logic
of even the most seasoned researcher and cause one to doubt the rationality of
the genre.
To this end, a new theory has been developed by members
of Ufology Research of Manitoba (UFOROM) which appears to explain most, if not
all, of these baffling elements. The
theory, labelled AINT, is the Alien INcompetency Theory, and describes how all
the confusing aspects can be explained by assuming one simple tenet: aliens are
incompetent. To illustrate the theory,
one need only to look at examples from within the phenomenon itself, including
its outlying subfields. First, let us
look at alien abductions.
One of the basic premises of alien abductions is the
conscious recall by abductees of their experiences aboard alien
spacecraft. Nearly all abductees report
that during their ordeal, the aliens create some sort of mental block within
their minds so that they cannot remember what has occurred. Yet, as evidenced by the huge number of
abduction accounts published and under investigation, these mental blocks are
ineffective.
This is odd, considering the advanced technology and
knowledge reported to be held by the aliens.
Some abductees report that their captors claim thousands of years of
development beyond our own, yet they, too, have failed to produce a lasting
screen memory that can withstand our feeble efforts to unlock it via simple
hypnosis techniques duplicable by any charlatan or stage magician. Why would this be?
(Vladimir Simosko, a UFOROM associate and noted Fortean
researcher, has suggested some alternatives.
Aside from sheer incompetence, he notes two other possibilities: 1) aliens have a wacky sense of humor; and
2) they want us to remember, despite the pretense of intending us to
forget.)
Another curious observation is that nearly all
abductees report aliens with roughly humanoid shapes and comparable sizes, but
with different origins and purposes.
Some aliens tell their victims they are from Venus, some from the
Pleiades and others from Zeta Reticuli.
Since space science has learned Venus cannot support life, this is
obvious misinformation. As for the
Pleiades, these are stars much younger than our Sun and without hope for
planets with suitable living conditions at this time.
Some aliens claim their home planet has deteriorated
from misuse and pollution, and wish to warn us about our own disruption of our
planet. Others suggest they need our
biological material to breed new life (literally) into their gene pool, perhaps
to regain such things as emotions or other human characteristics. It is interesting that these scenarios imply
that the aliens have somehow caused their own demise and that without our help
they are lost. In other words, they
made some serious mistakes. It is not
too much of a stretch to suggest they were incompetent in managing their
resources!
Of course, some aliens are said to claim that they are
superior to us and have their own agendas.
This is precisely the claims an incompetent person would say to cover
his or her mistakes in order to keep from being embarrassed.
We can look at other aspects of abductions for further
evidence. One abductee studied by John
Mack described how she woke up one morning after her abduction, wearing
lavender underwear. This was baffling
to her because she didn’t own any underwear of that color. Mack quickly interpreted this to mean that
the aliens had somehow made a mistake on board their craft during a busy
mass-abduction, and mixed-up abductees’ clothing. Other abductees have reported returning from their abductions
with slippers on the wrong feet and other items of clothing either missing or
improperly fastened. In a case studied
by Budd Hopkins, an abductee’s earrings were found to be in backwards after her
ordeal on board a craft.
This all speaks to one explanation: the aliens were incompetent. One would hope that superior beings who have
been watching humans for many years would have easily picked up nuances such as
the color of our clothing and the way jewelry is fastened to our bodies.
Simosko would again note that this could be a display
of an alien sense of humor, or perhaps an “intelligence test” of some sort.
Regarding further refinements of AINT, he offers four
postulates:
1) If the aliens
are intervening to “help us along,” they are incompetent because it isn’t
working out too well; humans remain relatively unsophisticated and not very
“tuned-in” to the universe.
2) If the aliens
are intervening by holding us back, it isn’t working all that well, either,
since although an overwhelming majority of humans are tuned-out, there are a
number who are attempting to raise the level of consciousness: Mother Theresa, the Pope, Sun Ra, the Dalai
Lama, Sharon Stone, etc.
3) If the aliens
are trying not to intervene, they’re even more incompetent than the
other postulates would indicate.
4) If there are
several different groups of aliens, some helping and others preventing our
advancement, this is proof of incompetence because they cannot “get their act
together.”
Another aspect of the UFO phenomenon is
crash/retrievals. Associated with the
idea that some alien ships have crashed on Earth is the concept that terran
government or military bureaucrats have failed to keep the crashes secret,
allowing some documents to be leaked to UFO researchers. (More on this later.)
The most famous crash story is that of the Roswell
incident, in which a flying saucer apparently crashed during an electrical
storm in New Mexico in 1947. While
researchers have spent many years tracking down witnesses and speculating as to
where the ship might have done down, the obvious question has never been asked: Why did it crash in the first place? One only needs to consider accidents of
terrestrial vehicles in order to realize the answer: pilot or driver error.
It would be truly remarkable to consider that an alien
pilot who has navigated his (or her or its) craft through interstellar space
using highly-advanced technology and propulsion would be unable to maintain
level flight through a mere thunderstorm.
There is only one reasonable and possible explanation: the pilot was
incompetent. Considering the large
number of saucer crashes now claimed by researchers, it would seem that many
aliens have difficulty flying their vehicles.
Surely this could imply that many are incompetent.
We can look to crop circles as further support for
AINT. Allegedly, crop circles
constitute a form of “communication” between aliens and ourselves. It is implied they are trying to warn us of
or prepare us for some upcoming fateful situation through the creation of
“agriglyphs,” consisting of complex mathematical patterns and obscure
symbols. Why would they attempt to
communicate with us in such a fashion?
Why not just send a radio message or write something in English or
Japanese on a sheet of cardboard? Why
100-foot-wide Mayan lettering in marketable durham?
Obviously, their communication skills are less than
exemplary, especially since researchers cannot come to an agreement as to the
exact messages (other than something about impending “earth changes”). The aliens must be, of course, incompetent.
What about the infamous Men-in-Black (MIBs)? They are described as human in appearance,
though possessing some characteristics that give them away. Their facial pallor is often olive or grey
in color and their eyes are wide and staring.
Their movements are jerky and their speech stilted. They may ask people unusual questions or
otherwise show an unfamiliarity with terran customs. For example, in response to the query: “Hey, buddy! What you lookin’ at? You want a knuckle sandwich?”, a MIB might say, “Yes, please,
with some mayonnaise.” Such actions
easily show they are not humans at all; if their purpose was to mimic humans,
their imperfections show that they are, again, incompetent.
Contactees often will share their imparted knowledge
from their alien mentors.
Unfortunately, practically all contactees claim contact with different
aliens from different planets and with different messages to humankind. (They are similar to abductees in this
way.) When pressed to ask their
channelled entities for more palpable proof of their claims, or perhaps a
useable prediction or two, the contactees are told by the aliens that Earth is
“not ready” for the knowledge or, instead, give a vague diatribe about
“parallel vibrational states” or “temporal matter disruptions.”
An examination of other channelled material finds many
other examples of alien doubletalk and bafflegab. Rather than accepting the channelled information as revelations
from higher beings, the lack of content of the messages suggests something
else: the aliens themselves don’t know the answers or lack the information as
well. Again, we can ask how an
incredibly advanced civilization would not be able to give one single example
that would prove their superiority.
Could it be that they do not know the answers, despite their reputed
intelligence?
One can also ask why aliens would choose to abduct
people from lower castes or social status rather than those in positions of
authority. Why don’t they land on the
White House lawn? Perhaps they don’t
know to do so. How could they not know
this? They are incompetent.
Even the implants found inside some abductees are
curious. Each one is of a different
size, shape and/or compost, and while there is a trend for some to be found in
abductees’ noses, others are found in feet, shoulders, wrists and knees. Surely, if the aliens are conducting a
scientific test, their methodology would be consistent. In fact, the implants appear to be little
more than chunks of metal or calcified plastics rather than
microtransmitters. Perhaps the alien
doctors don’t know what they are doing.
In all of these examples, it is possible to interpret
the aliens’ actions as being far from superior. In fact, they seem rather ridiculous. But, if the aliens are really superior beings from an advanced
civilization on a distant planet, why are they acting in such an illogical
manner? We can point to a parallel
situation here on our own planet. Why,
given our own relatively-advanced technology and level of knowledge, is
bureaucratic infighting delaying the construction of the space station? Why is NASA nearly bankrupt?
We also can look at examples in areas other than space
science. Why would politicians lobby
for tighter controls on cigarettes because of cancer dangers, but pass bills
that would subsidize farmers to grow tobacco?
Why do bureaucrats create subcommittees to investigate wastes of time
and taxpayers’ money? Why would
politicians sponsor a covert activity to break into a psychiatrist’s office in
a hotel? (For that matter, why would
people vote for politicians, knowing their track records for honesty and
integrity?) Why can’t my subscription
to a magazine get renewed, even when I send the check in four months before the
subscription expires? And why are 60%
of all automobiles recalled by the manufacturer during the first year they are
on the road?
The answer, of course, is incompetence. Bureaucratic bungling, political wrangling
and general ineptitude are responsible for most of the problems in the world
today. Politicians and bureaucrats create
such confusion that it is clear they themselves have no idea what they are doing.
Now, imagine a highly-evolved technical civilization on
a distant planet. Its society functions
well, with the exception of a comparatively small number of its
population. These would no doubt be
their most ineffective politicians and bureaucrats. What better way to remove them from the general gene pool and
workforce than to send them off on interstellar voyages that, with relativity,
would return them many, many years later, if at all?
Because they are incompetent, they would be confused as
to their mission. They would be clumsy
pilots and navigators and, because they lack the true knowledge of their
society, they would be unable to tell anyone anything about their purpose or
scientific capability with any degree of understanding or common sense.
As evidence that this is true, a cursory study of the
terrestrial government cover-up of UFO crashes shows incompetence as well, but
this time with regard to human bureaucrats.
The presence of a vast number of leaked documents shows that the
government (even a “shadow” variety) cannot function effectively because it is,
after all, still a government (which, by definition, is incompetent).
Therefore, we can observe that bizarre aspects of the
UFO phenomenon are explained best by assuming the aliens are incompetent. More to the point, they must be the most
incompetent examples of their race, namely the bureaucrats. The Alien Incompetency Theory is borne out
by an examination of the available observations and claims of witnesses, and
can finally explain what is going on.
An understanding of this situation will certainly change the way
ufologists will approach their subject. March, 1996
The Swamp Gas Journal is copyright 1996 by Chris
Rutkowski
Snailmail: Box 1918
Winnipeg, Manitoba
Canada R3C 3R2
E-mail: rutkows@cc.umanitoba.ca
The Swamp Gas Journal is an irregular publication
associated with Ufology Research of Manitoba (UFOROM).
http://www.wj.net/wguimb/sgjsi4.html
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